Happy New Year!! Here we are already in 2013! Where did 2012 go? Fast is one word to describe it that’s for sure! Well now that a new year is upon us, guess it’s time to focus on the year ahead and change for this year.
I chose not to really make a list of resolutions because I am one of those people who is always working towards a goal when it needs to be addressed. But one thing I DID decide to do this year, and got the idea from other blogs, is to pick a word of the year. So, after contemplating and using the thesaurus (online of course) I decided on the word PROGRESS.
I picked the word progress to represent progress I can make in many areas of my life. I can make progress in my relationship with food and my body, I can make progress in my workouts, I can make progress in my new job, I can make progress in changing habits I want and need to change. Basically, the word represents, to me, the idea that it’s all about the progress not perfection.
I am a perfectionist to the core, I won’t deny that one bit, but I have (finally) learned that really there is no such thing as TOTAL perfection. There are always slip-ups of some sort.
This word represents that this year is all about progress from where I am at this moment. Not perfection. Not some unachievable goal. To move towards the balance I crave and have desired for some time.
So here goes 2013, the Year of “Change” for me! The Year of the Snake according to the Chinese calendar?!?! Hope everyone has something in mind to work towards in 2013 or at least has a fabulous attitude for the year ahead!
Never Know
Well, it’s been quite awhile since I have been on here. To say life has been hectic and surprising would be a huge understatement. Looking back at the last post from November, the title really couldn’t sum up life lately. It has been crazy folks, and not particularly in the best way.
Let me start out with the sad news of the past month. A very dear friend of our’s was killed on Monday, November 26th while on duty as an Illinois State Trooper. This has literally been the hardest thing Jeremy and I have ever had to deal with. The shock, the sadness, the realization of the dangers of the job. It’s been heartbreaking to not only lose a dear friend but to watch his wife, another dear friend, and his children go through this. This is just really testing our faith in many ways. To try to understand why God would let this happen. To try to understand why one thing didn’t go different that day and change everything. But, one thing I have learned is that we have to accept that this is God’s plan for whatever reason and that Kyle is now safe with him. That we are the ones here hurting, that he is ok now. But, to say that accepting this has all been easy just is not true. Everyday it is different as to how we accept and process it. I know it will get easier with time, but for now it sure is hard.
That all being said, what has happened has really made me think. Made me think about what is really important in life. It has made me think about HOW I want to live. It has made me realize really how precious life is. Made me think about how not to waste time we have. Really made me look inside myself and think about how I want to live my life, and how to live it to the fullest.
As I have stated before, and the reason for this blog, I have struggled with eating and body issues in the past. Thinking about all of that, in light of recent events, makes so much of the fussing over such an insignificant part of life seem well, just that, insignificant. But I have also realized that these struggles are part of my journey in life. Part of who I am. But it is a part of me I am working every single day to change. It is something that I have let creep back into my life and I plan to change that. It is not something I want to keep wasting precious time on. It is something I have struggled to change and something I realized I have been going through the motions to change. I have not really dedicated myself to changing, I just have put on a good front.
Yes, it is true. I have said on here many of times how I have reached a “moment” or that I was finally “ready” to change. But at each of those points I went through the motions. I in some way believed that just saying that or having the idea would be enough to spark the change for good. I didn’t put the work into it that I needed. Did I make some steps forward? Absolutely. Am I where I want to be? Nope. Do I know what I want to change? Yes. Will I finally do it? Yes. It’s time. I want to live life the way I want to live it. In all aspects. But seeing as this is the area I struggle with most, especially here.
In regards to this struggle and my effort to change, I realized I have acted in ways to make other people happy and not worry about me. I have eaten when I didn’t really want to in order to please others. I have not said what I am feeling and pushed it down and then ended up eating emotionally. I have eaten because it is there, almost out of panic. I have tried so many different “plans” and “styles” of eating because each promised something new. I have ignored my body and it’s signals many times. I have disrespected my body. I have not treated it how I want or how I should.
That being said, I try to look at what I have done in an effort to change. I realize where I have been and I have a clear understanding of where I need to go and what I need to do. I am almost thirty years old. I have many years ahead of me and I want them to be healthy years. I want this to be behind me. I know I will always struggle with this on some level, but it doesn’t have to be at the level it has been. I will make a mission statement that will lay out what I plan to change and how. I have never done that. I have never put the time and effort needed to really make a change. I always thought, for some reason, it would just happen. Clearly, that is not the case. But it is time to change, life is far too short and precious to be wasting worrying about issues like this.
This post has been something I have wanted to get out for some time. Just wasn’t sure how to word it or sure I was ready. But that was the point of starting this blog, to be brutally honest, to maybe help someone else who is going through the same thing. To help me look back and move forward to where I need to, and want to, be.
I guess with life you just never know. You never know when God will call you home with him in heaven. You never know what the next day holds. What we do know is that life is short. We know that life is meant to be lived. I know I haven’t been living how I want and I have been shown that life is far too precious to not live in the way one wishes to live it. So, clearly it is time to change because really we all just never know.
Things are about to get crazy folks…..
It is almost Thanksgiving?! Where has November gone?! We have many a thing to catch up on!
First, on the workout front, I am still sweating away to Best Body Bootcamp. Loving it. In fact, today, I am sore in all the right places. Thanks Tina! I have also signed up (and started) The Holiday Bootie Buster Challenge. It is a great challenge in the blog world that, in a nutshell, holds you accountable for your food and exercise choices over the holiday season while offering prizes along the way for points earned. It really is a way to keep me on the straight and narrow through this holiday time and it really is motivating! Loving that too, and only on day two!! On the running front, I do have a couple of races coming up. A 5-K on Turkey Day and then a 10-miler on Saturday. I think I may have to bow out of the 10-miler. I have been focusing more on boot camp than distance running and not to mention I am having some weird heel pain and REALLY trying to prevent it from turning into something worse…dun dun dun plantar fascititis…ugh. But the 5-K will happen!
Next, on the personal front,I have found myself a new job! Yup, this lady got herself a new gig and is rather excited about it. There was a minor road bump in the position being “official” official, but I finally got that call yesterday and all systems are a go! To not bore you with too much detail on it, I will be working as an Administrator for mediation hearings involving foreclosures. It is a great opportunity and I am very excited. Nervous, but excited!
Now, here it is Thankgiving Eve Eve and I can hardly wrap my brain around it. Between the holidays and the new gig I have a feeling this is going to be a crazy time! At least I have some good programs to keep me accountable in the health/fitness department. Now where can I find one of those for my head…..
Reality Check via the Internet?
Happy Friday to all! Hope everyone has a fun weekend planned. The weather here is supposed to be quite nice tomorrow, so hoping we get the chance to go out and enjoy it! Could be the last real “nice” weather we have for a bit…damn winter approaching.
Today while I was doing my usual AM blog reading, I came on this post by Courtney at SweetToothSweetLife. Like her, reading the article she referenced in her post I was quite perturbed. The unachievable and unhealthy standards that are projected by the media is sickening. How can someone who is a completely healthy, and by no means large, like Jennifer Lawrence be conceived as fat? It is sickening. These are the ideas that leak into young, impressionable girl’s minds and can spawn body image or eating issues. We need to embrace the idea of health over skinny. We need to teach young girls to love theirselves. We as women need to accept ourselves and our bodies.
As a woman who has most definitely struggled with body image issues as well as eating issues this article hit home. It made me realize that there truly is an unrealistic idea of beauty out there and I have completely been embracing it for far too long. I have strived for the skinny, rather than the healthy. I am trying like heck to change that, I really am, but reading this today (as well as some other disturbing articles) inspired me to really try harder with the body acceptance and stop the negative self-talk. I need to focus on the healthy. I need to truly accept myself.
As Courtney mentioned in her post this morning whick sprked my reality check, there is so much more to life than how we look, those last five pounds, the definition in our abs. Why do we get sucked in so easy? Why have I been so blind for so long to this? I know I can’t beat myself up for getting sucked in because many many women do, but I am sure glad I read this article today to jolt me from this haze.
So I guess, the moral of my rant of a post is that women need to start accepting themselves, and others at that matter, for who they are and what they have been blessed with. As women we need to embrace being healthy. Life is about so much more than being pretty or skinny. It’s about living, loving, laughing and be happy.
Lazy Weekend & A Debate
First off, Happy Election Day to all! I hope everyone gets out and exercises their right to vote! Doesn’t matter which party, just VOTE!
Now that my public service announcement portion of the blog is over, let’s move on to more fun conversations! The weekend is already behind us, but we did gain an hour! Hooray for an extra hour of sleep (supposedly) but BOO for shorter sunny days! I guess I do have to accept that winter is indeed coming. Boo again.
Speaking of the weekend, the Dunham duo had a rather laid back one. Stayed in on Friday with takeout, dinner and drinks with some friends on Saturday evening and Sunday was a complete lazy day. Complete with no showers and all. It was fabulous! I did manage to get that long run in though on Saturday, which felt GREAT may I add! So resting up Sunday didn’t bother me one bit!
One thing I did manage to get out and do this weekend was taking a little trip to a local supplement store that was recommended by a friend. Here is where the debate part of the title of the blog comes into play. I have been toying back and forth for a few weeks on adding a supplement to my regiment to help with metabolism and fat burn. I have been taking CLA for about a month, but I wanted something a little bit stronger but still natural. I don’t do stimulants well. I really am like a spider monkey hopped up on Mountain Dew when I have stimulants. After much debate, in my own head, I decided I wanted something a little stronger. I knew I wanted natural and I knew I wanted to talk to someone who knew what they were selling. So I headed to the supplement store.
The supplement store was small and chocked full of any kind of protein powder or supplement one could want. I ended up running into the friend that recommended the store to me and he introduced me to the owner. The owner was very knowledgeable and to the point. I told him my issue at the moment of working very hard, not seeing results and wanting something natural to help. He ended up handing me a stimulant free product who’s ingredient list I surveyed closely and then purchased.
Upon returning home, the husband was not thrilled at my purchase but laid off. See, I used to be on him all the time about certain supplements. But, let me add to that he would take the NOT natural stuff (hello hydroxycut) and also has an underlying medical issue that affects what medicine he can take. So, yes, I was hard on him about supplements. But I had reason. What I am taking is natural and is to give me a push over the plateau I have reached. I do not plan to be on them long, like I said I just need a little push, naturally.
That is what is up for debate this Election Day in the Dunham household. Well, I guess it’s not up for debate any longer, but it was. Hope everyone had the chance to make it to the polls and vote for their candidate! Happy Tuesday Everyone!
Let’s Catch Up
Well the crazy month of October has come to an end and here we are a few days into November! Can Thanksgiving really be about three weeks away? Where has 2012 gone? But, as we reminisce let me catch you up on the past week or so.
One thing that was making October rather hectic, but yet I couldn’t mention on here, was the surprise party I was planning for my Mom. She turned 60 on October 23rd and I decided early in the year to conspire with Dad, Ben and other family and friends to throw her a FABULOUS surprise birthday party. We worked on the party details and keeping it a secret for months. I only almost blew it once, which is impressive for me because a. I have a big mouth and b. my mom is one of my best friends, I tell her EVERYTHING! But, alas, it was kept a total secret and her face when she walked in and realized what was going on was priceless! I will NOT forget that ever. She said she had absolutely NO idea and I love that as well. The party turned out great! Plenty of food and cocktails. An adorable cake. Lots of family and friends. It was fabulous and I believe it made her quite happy.
On the workout front, I have finished the first two weeks of Tina’s Best Body Boot Camp. I would like to think I am getting a little stronger, but that will be tested next week when we start the next phase of the program which focuses more on strength endurance. I think it will quite challenging, but I am up for it! Bring it on Tina!
Now that we are pretty much caught up we can look forward to the weekend ahead. I plan to do a long run tomorrow morning because I have a 10-mile race coming up the Saturday after Thanksgiving that I need to be ready for. The run is basically flat, so all I have to worry about is making it through the miles! Other than the long run, we have a pretty low-key agenda set for the weekend. Tomorrow night is looking to be dinner and drinks with some friends which will be nice. We haven’t caught up with this group in a while so it’s due time!
Wishing everyone a nice, low-key November weekend. Don’t forget those clocks turn back! Hooray for more sleep!
Switching It Up
Everyone has the habit to get in a rut at the gym. We all do it. Even us health nuts! You just get used to a “routine” or doing similar exercises to what you are used to. I am guilty of this as well. . But, recently I have mixed this up which at one time was a scary thought.
See, back in the days of my disordered ways, or the dark period, I really in my head thought that running was the only real GOOD cardio to burn calories. I also didn’t really think much about strength training because I was running so much and that HAD to be good enough. Well, fast forward to last year when I injured my knee from overuse and learned that strength training and core work had A LOT to do with knee function. So, recovering from that and basically getting my head out of my rear I began to focus on alternative exercises and strength training. Well, by doing this I have not only made my runs more enjoyable and pain-free, I have also realized that no, running is NOT the only GOOD cardio, there are plenty of other options.
I did other programs on my own for some time to get myself to where I need to be. Not to mention I tried to improve my eating habits. But, one day while reading Peanut Butter Fingers blog I came upon a post about this Best Body Boot Camp program and became intrigued. I googled the woman behind this kick butt boot camp, Tina Reale, and was immediately interested. I first signed up for an individualized plan with Tina which I really enjoyed but this week began my first round of Best Body Boot Camp and I am hooked!
Best Body Boot Camp is eight weeks long and consists of cardio and strength workouts. Tina emails the group of boot campers every couple of weeks with the workouts for the following two weeks along with instructions and modification for each exercise. It is very thorough! She mixes all sorts of strength exercises into three workouts a week as well as three interval workouts on those same days along with some steady cardio and planks the other two days. She monitors your progress on a log in document to keep you accountable. This boot camp is NO joke!!! I am feeling the burn!!
This Best Body Boot Camp is helping me to continue to branch out, try new exercises, new cardio routines, basically to move on from past (bad) gym habits! I am very excited to keep going in this program and see my progress because there is NO way I won’t see results. Tina also challenges all boot campers to make two healthy changes a week that are tracked on the log in document as well. The changes can be anything from stretching each day to logging meals. I love this because it is focusing on being all around healthier not just thinner! It’s about making a healthy LIFESTYLE change and I am fully on board!
Slight Meltdown….
The icing for the cake was also made from scratch. I fussed, slightly, over that too because I thought it was too runny. But while texting Mom mid-meltdown she assured me it was supposed to be a little runny and gooey, so I started construction. One whole layer on the bottom, topped with icing, then the middle crumbled cake next re-constructed as best it could be topped with icing, then the other good layer and more icing. It ended up not quite looking like Martha Stewart’s version, but it was the best I could do for my first time ever making this cake. I was not happy it wasn’t real pretty but I took it to the party anyway.
Once time for cake came yesterday during our family/friend gathering I unveiled the cake for everyone. Everyone TOLD me it looked fine and it wasn’t supposed to look perfect, because THAT is what made it homemade. But, the true test was when it was tasted. Well….I am happy to announce, it got rave reviews from everyone as far as taste goes! I even tried a small piece myself and it was pretty good. So, meltdown aside it was worth it, especially since it was for my Momma. Needless to say it will be awhile before I attempt this cake again!
So, now here we are mid-week! It has been craziness between work, baking meltdowns, celebrating my Mom’s birth yesterday and trying to squeeze in time to study for the CPT exam. But, hey, they say time flies when you are having fun. I have to say I agree!
Nashville Made Me Think
Welp, the Dunham’s time in Nashville has already come and gone! It was a BLAST! We had a great time. We walked up and down Broadway visiting local (and famous) bars, bought my first pair of REAL cowboy boots, visited Margaritaville, and watched the Gator BEAT Vanderbilt! It was a fun weekend, but like all quick weekend trips it went way too fast.
For some reason, whenever I leave town, even if it is only a few hours away, I end up doing some sort of weird self-exploration business. Well, this time was no different. First off, I really did not find it too hard to make some healthy choices while out of my element. I am not going to lie to anyone and say ALL the choices I made were more healthy than not, but some of them really were. However, leading to my next point, the choices that were not necessarily on the healthy side (hello vodka) ended up, come Sunday not making me not feel so hot which lead to my next thought.
Truth is I like to cocktail , it is part of my life that I really won’t give up completely. But, that being said, I have started to see where I can scale back and still have a good time but not feel bad later on (Sundays!). Call it maturing, or call it tired of being tired of a slight hangover, either way I realized that I don’t have to go all out each time I am either in a new place cocktailing or hanging around town. I can focus more on the fun going on and not just the cocktails. To be honest, I know I sometimes focused on the cocktails to ignore my insecurities about my body and my previous body image issues. But the time has come where I am moving past those. Part of moving forward for me is going to be SLOWING down especially when it comes to the “fun” part of life. Learning to breathe so to speak, or so is tattooed on my little wrist! Plus, to boot, sometimes getting a little too tipsy leads can lead to less than stellar food choices (well ok, MOST of the time). These less than spectacular choices, also have a tendency to lead me into a negative place with my body image. Is this to say I will never get “tipsy” again, absolutely not. Is this saying I will slow down and try to listen to my body and make better choices when having cocktails cocktail. Absolutely.
Ok, so now moving on past the maturing/body image/ self observation stuff, the other way Nashville got me thinking was about running. Yes, running. Running far. Before we headed down there for the weekend, my good friend Sam put a bug in my ear to see what I thought of the town and to “consider” running the Rock n’ Roll 1/2 Marathon in the spring in Nashville. Well, while down there I became very fond of little ol’ Nashville, and as of yesterday afternoon I was emailing Sam telling her I was seriously considering doing the half. Seriously. We both have some logistics to work out, child care for her, to take or not to take the husbands for both of us, expenses. But, our interest is very peaked and I have an inkling this will be my next 1/2 marathon.
That is the trip to Nashville in a little (self-reflective) nutshell. Lots of fun. Lots of thinking.
QUESTION OF THE DAY: DOES ANYONE ELSE DO MORE THINKING THAT PROBABLY NECESSARY WHEN ON VACATION OR OUT OF THEIR ELEMENT?
Holy Smokes it’s Friday!
I don’t know about everyone else but this has been a crazy week!! I called it on Monday when I said the craziness continues because it sure has!!! Work was way busy and overwhelming at times plus lots of errands had to be done for home as well! But, hey, we all made it to Friday and that is what is important, especially since me and the Mr. have a fun weekend out-of-town ahead of us.
This weekend, to continue the October nuttiness, we are heading to NASHVILLE!! We are heading to good ol’ Tennessee to watch the Florida Gators play (BEAT!) Vanderbilt! My husband is like a kid on Christmas Eve waiting for the game tomorrow. While I do like football and support him and the Florida Gators, I am more excited to finally SEE all that Nashville has to offer because I have heard good things! But, with traveling also comes the challenge of balancing healthy habits with some fun. I tend to fall off the wagon a bit during weekends/vacays/mini-vacays, which while this isn’t the end of the world, it also doesn’t make me feel so great come Monday. But, this time after chatting (via email) with Tina, I got some good advice as well as inspiring words to keep me on track. I feel confident going into this weekend now that I can both have a BLAST in Nashville and balance some healthy habits with it!
So, the suitcases are all packed with Gators gear and the car is ready to go, now if quitting time could just get here! Chomp Chomp!
